Entering week #4 of posts from some awesome guest bloggers, I’d like to introduce Melissa Swedoski from HomeOnDeranged.com. She is a SAHM to 2 little girls, her posts are really enjoyable and always make me laugh. Hope you enjoy reading!
But what about dad? Yeah, what about him? (crickets chirping) Well…that’s a good question.
My husband is the baby of three boys. To say that he grew up in a testosterone fueled house is putting it mildly. Most of the family stories revolve around holes in the yard, go-kart mishaps, fighting for the last french fry, and pulling pranks on their mom.
I, on the other hand, have one sister, 11 years younger than I am. My dad lived in a house full of estrogen, full of weeping, yelling, arguing, hugging and dagger stares when he “just didn’t understand.”
So when we found out our first child was a girl, I was slightly relieved. If my husband was disappointed, he never showed it. Then the second baby turned out to be a girl (which I had already prepared him to expect), but we were just so happy for a healthy baby, neither one of us cared.
Flash forward to a 2 ½ year old and 14 month old in the house, along with their crazy occasionally hormonal mother, and my husband is a man outnumbered. And we haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet.
I’ve been subtly trying to prepare him for the days that are coming. But my daughters are doing a far better job than I ever could.
The 2-year-old is a drama queen. Every boo-boo is huge, every hunger pain is torture, every diaper change is like being tied to a stake, every “no” is the end of the world.
The 1-year-old is a bit of a sadist. She likes to walk up, smack you out of the blue, then laugh and laugh. She likes to sneak up behind you and bite you on the back of the leg, then break out into a huge grin when you yelp.
These are not things that my husband expected from his sweet, sweet, precious baby girls. They love to hug, right? They love to kiss, right? They love their Daddy best, right?
They also like to pick out their clothes. Until they don’t. They like to dance around the room to rock music. Until they don’t. They like to cuddle with you in your lap. Until they don’t. They like to hang out with you as you do yard work. Until they don’t. They like to eat the same breakfast cereal as you do. Until they don’t.
I’m sure that little boys are like this as well, at least to some degree. Kids go through their stages, working through emotions, coping mechanisms and processes. But I can hardly wait for the questions to begin.
One of my favorite stories to tell on my husband goes something like this:
Our 2-year-old discovered that daddy has a different “bottom” than the girls in the house. One night as he sat on the couch, she goosed him through his shorts, which made him jump and she thought was hilarious. REALLY hilarious, enough to keep doing it. Repeatedly.
That prompted a “Do we tell her it’s a penis?” conversation.
Fast forward to later that night, as she watched her daddy pee into the potty, and his explanation to her as, “Boys pee. Girls pee. The rest is just plumbing differences. That’s all you need to know.”
I can hardly wait for when he has to talk to her about the birds and the bees, periods, and training bras. Oh right, that’s what I’m here to do.
Okay, but he is totally taking the “sometimes boys break your heart” conversation. Let him explain that one. And then he can go take care of the boy in question.
Yay for Daddy!
About the Author
With a professional career in investigative newspaper reporting, Melissa Swedoski thought she was well informed on the chaos that everyday life contains. Now, she is “mumbling through the mayhem of marriage and motherhood,” which has fueled her quirky sense of humor and off kilter perspective on life. Although never daring to call herself an expert on anything other than chocolate, she is now a SAHM to two girls, ages 2 and 1, turning her investigative eye on the mishaps and misadventures of parenting and the marathon that is marriage, always with the emphasis on humor and love. You can find her at HomeOnDeranged.com or follow her on Facebook at OurHomeOnDeranged.