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parenthood

It’s a man’s world, except for all the little women… {{Guest Post}}

Entering week #4 of posts from some awesome guest bloggers, I’d like to introduce Melissa Swedoski from HomeOnDeranged.com. She is a SAHM to 2 little girls, her posts are really enjoyable and always make me laugh. Hope you enjoy reading!

 

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There’s an almost overabundance of information available on the Internet regarding parenting issues, but it seems mostly directed at the moms. Which is totally understandable, given the number of mommy bloggers and readers out there. We are living in an information consumption age.

But what about dad? Yeah, what about him? (crickets chirping) Well…that’s a good question.

 

My husband is the baby of three boys. To say that he grew up in a testosterone fueled house is putting it mildly. Most of the family stories revolve around holes in the yard, go-kart mishaps, fighting for the last french fry, and pulling pranks on their mom.

I, on the other hand, have one sister, 11 years younger than I am. My dad lived in a house full of estrogen, full of weeping, yelling, arguing, hugging and dagger stares when he “just didn’t understand.”

So when we found out our first child was a girl, I was slightly relieved. If my husband was disappointed, he never showed it. Then the second baby turned out to be a girl (which I had already prepared him to expect), but we were just so happy for a healthy baby, neither one of us cared.

Flash forward to a 2 ½ year old and 14 month old in the house, along with their crazy occasionally hormonal mother, and my husband is a man outnumbered. And we haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet.

I’ve been subtly trying to prepare him for the days that are coming. But my daughters are doing a far better job than I ever could.

The 2-year-old is a drama queen. Every boo-boo is huge, every hunger pain is torture, every diaper change is like being tied to a stake, every “no” is the end of the world.

The 1-year-old is a bit of a sadist. She likes to walk up, smack you out of the blue, then laugh and laugh. She likes to sneak up behind you and bite you on the back of the leg, then break out into a huge grin when you yelp.

These are not things that my husband expected from his sweet, sweet, precious baby girls. They love to hug, right? They love to kiss, right? They love their Daddy best, right?

 

Um…well…sometimes.


They also like to pick out their clothes. Until they don’t. They like to dance around the room to rock music. Until they don’t. They like to cuddle with you in your lap. Until they don’t. They like to hang out with you as you do yard work. Until they don’t. They like to eat the same breakfast cereal as you do. Until they don’t.

I’m sure that little boys are like this as well, at least to some degree. Kids go through their stages, working through emotions, coping mechanisms and processes. But I can hardly wait for the questions to begin.

 

One of my favorite stories to tell on my husband goes something like this:

 

Our 2-year-old discovered that daddy has a different “bottom” than the girls in the house. One night as he sat on the couch, she goosed him through his shorts, which made him jump and she thought was hilarious. REALLY hilarious, enough to keep doing it. Repeatedly.

That prompted a “Do we tell her it’s a penis?” conversation.

Fast forward to later that night, as she watched her daddy pee into the potty, and his explanation to her as, “Boys pee. Girls pee. The rest is just plumbing differences. That’s all you need to know.”

I can hardly wait for when he has to talk to her about the birds and the bees, periods, and training bras. Oh right, that’s what I’m here to do.

Okay, but he is totally taking the “sometimes boys break your heart” conversation. Let him explain that one. And then he can go take care of the boy in question.

Yay for Daddy!

 

downloadAbout the Author
With a professional career in investigative newspaper reporting, Melissa Swedoski thought she was well informed on the chaos that everyday life contains. Now, she is “mumbling through the mayhem of marriage and motherhood,” which has fueled her quirky sense of humor and off kilter perspective on life. Although never daring to call herself an expert on anything other than chocolate, she is now a SAHM to two girls, ages 2 and 1, turning her investigative eye on the mishaps and misadventures of parenting and the marathon that is marriage, always with the emphasis on humor and love. You can find her at HomeOnDeranged.com or follow her on Facebook at OurHomeOnDeranged.

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15 Comments

  • Reply
    Home on Deranged – Guest posting: three’s company, daddy’s a riot
    August 12, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    […] Crystal over at MommiFried is allowing me to share thoughts on “When I’m 64, Will I Still Want One More?” while Melanie at Mommy Mentionables is letting me discuss, “It’s a Man’s World, Except for All the Little Women.” […]

  • Reply
    Tamara
    August 12, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    haha! I always thought we’d outnumber my husband. I’m from all girls (biologically, not step) and he’s from all boys. So we had one of each. The dog will be the tie-breaker when we get one.

  • Reply
    Terry (My Journey With Candida)
    August 14, 2013 at 5:31 am

    LOL I can remember when my Granddaughter accidentally seen her Dads penis. She thought he had a tail. She went around telling everyone her Dad had a tail. So funny

  • Reply
    Dawn Lopez
    August 14, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Oh my goodness, I am glad I wasn’t sipping my coffee as I read this! What a great post and much luck in the years ahead 😉 Please keep sharing your funny stories with us!

  • Reply
    Jutta@HungryLittleGirl
    August 14, 2013 at 8:46 am

    It is lovely and funny while they are still so innocent! I had that “big” talk with my son already. He is now 11 and knows just about everything. It’s kind of sad that those cute times are over 🙂

  • Reply
    Corinne
    August 14, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Too funny! For a little bit there, you could have been describing my cat–she likes to do things, until she doesn’t. We have an even balance in my house 2 boys, 2 girls, then mom and dad but the boys are still outnumbered. Estrogen is apparently much harder to tame than testosterone!

  • Reply
    Dawn ~ Spatulas On Parade
    August 14, 2013 at 9:54 am

    I have 3 boys. I am an only child. My dh grew up with 3 sisters and a house full of women. I grew up with my dad and working in a garage. Our home has been interesting. LOL
    Your poor hubby. I’m sure he’ll do fine.
    Thanks for sharing your life and funny stories with us.

  • Reply
    Pam
    August 14, 2013 at 10:01 am

    Ha! Love the post. All boys in my household so I made sure all of our dogs were females. 😉

    I loved having boys and I rolled up my sleeves and jumped right into all of the sports and things they were involved in. It would have been nice to have a little girl, but it is what it is.

  • Reply
    Laura - Blogging with Dogs
    August 14, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Lol – this is hilarious. I never really considered this – but can see some of these differences coming from a home where my dad was the only male in the house up until I was about 10 years old. My husband comes from a house where it was ALL men with the exception of his mom. Women/females are so much more dramatic aren’t we? 😉 So it will be very funny if we end up all having daughters. 🙂 Cute

  • Reply
    Becca
    August 14, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    My hubby says he has given up and wants a vacation home when the girls hit the teenage years and we all PMS at the same time lol

  • Reply
    Lisa
    August 14, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Thats a great story to tell them when they are older. I am surrounded by testosterone. I have 3 boys. I am the only girl in my house. Even our dog is a boy!

  • Reply
    Grandma Bonnie
    August 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Hmm, I was raised in a house where women out weighed the men. Then went to my own home where my husbands and three sons out weighed my self and one daughter. The ups and downs are all the same.

  • Reply
    Cynthia L.
    August 14, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    Cute story! I have friends who are the mother to all boys.

  • Reply
    Aida Ingram
    August 15, 2013 at 8:42 am

    This is really adorable! In my household we only have our daughter, so my husband is a bit outnumbered. But he also has three sisters so I think he’s come to terms with it by now.

  • Reply
    Aida Ingram
    August 15, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    This is such a cute story! I am the only girl with two brothers so I can definitely relate!

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